I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize