Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
