Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
as a side note pls kill me
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
