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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
