That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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