you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
