Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
