I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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