she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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