sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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