i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize