What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
