So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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