if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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