idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
