Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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