i think my tv is drunk
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
