he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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