Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
