You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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