I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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