Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
