We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
