Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize