absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize