Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
