I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize