I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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