Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You've changed since you got that strap on
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
