There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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