Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
