How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
