I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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