I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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