its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
