So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
