Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
