nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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