Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
