I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
