Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
