Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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