Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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