Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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