I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
