Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
