I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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