I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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