if you like me you must not know who I am
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
bring money and cleavage
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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