watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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