Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
