Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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