You're completely useless in the revolution.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
