Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
