yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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