so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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