he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it's like iHOP with fire
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize