Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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