Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize