Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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