just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
